Captain Kirk, we know not what we do…

They’re cloning horses!

This is freaking me out a little.

In my tiny corner of the east coast of Canada, where I can grow non-genetically-modified tomatoes in my backyard, and I eat 100% natural deer meat from our forests, the only cloning I have ever seen was the Star Trek episode where Captain Kirk was doubled. I remember it vividly, because when I was young I was going to marry Captain James T. Kirk and have his babies. Two Kirks was better than one. Beam me up, big fella.Captain-Kirk---15855My daughter has spent some time in Texas, moving in horsey circles, and she informed me recently that it is possible for cloned horses to be owned by private individuals. Not just in labs. Not just in the testing phase where the animals are secure and monitored and top secret, but actually alive, running around, being real horses that are… freakin’ clones!

Unbelievable.

Oh, Captain Kirk, what does it mean?

I told my students this shocking news and they blinked at me.

“Duh. Like, no kidding. Can we watch a movie?”

I waved my hands in the air, my eyes bugged out, my voice got squeaky. To no avail.

“This really doesn’t freak me out, Ms. Broadbent. Sorry.”

I showed them pictures of pigs that glow in the dark, and bugs hardwired for surveillance, and a video clip of some guy saying “cloning is no different than natural breeding programs. It’s the next natural step.”

It is soooo NOT natural!

They clone creatures to harvest their milk and blood for medical purposes, they clone high-achieving competitive animals so the originals can keep competing and the clone can breed, they create hybrid creatures to help animals on the verge of extinction…

I can’t argue with these purposes… they seem sound… but it’s getting us just one more ill-advised step closer to cloning a human. You know it’s gonna happen. Science doesn’t move backward, even when the moral and ethical dilemmas remain unresolved.

And that freaks me out, because the Captain James T. Kirks of the world are few and far between.

I doubt they’ll wait until we reach a unanimous consensus that cloning is ok. Which also begs the question… who is “they”?

“They” is not me. I can comprehend neither the moral principles of “they”, nor the financial reality that allows private individuals to own cloned animals. My cell phone cost $69 from the local grocery store. When my weiner dog, although admittedly a freak of nature, finally meets his destiny, I will not want a cloned replacement, because his weiner-ish-ness will live on in my heart forever.

When Captain Kirk was cloned, the clone was evil. And yes, technically he wasn’t actually cloned, but there were two of him. Transporter malfunction. Scotty was bemused.

I’m not suggesting that there are herds of evil cloned horses galloping through the fields of Texas; I’m sure the evil cloned horses are lovely. And I’m sure if I saw one, I wouldn’t know it was a clone. So how will I know when I meet my first cloned human? And you know who those clones are gonna be, right? The rich people. The ones with huge brains and even huger wallets.

What if opening the cloning door releases unexpected results, just like evil Kirk stepping off the transporter pad? What if their experiments morph into a surprising (albeit good-looking) transmutation rampaging through the Enterprise in pursuit of wenches and booze? Good Kirk was always so nice to the wenches. Evil Kirk was just a jerk.

I’m not saying it’s all bad…

I’m just saying it freaks me out.james_kirks_evil_counterpart

                         Check out my novel: “That Thing That Happened” available for a dolla dolla bill y’all, on Amazon!

Available now on kobo, kindle and amazon
Available now on kindle

Photo credits:

Freaking News: http://www.freakingnews.com/funny-pictures/kirk-pictures.asp

DReager1’s Blog: http://dreager1.com/category/battles/captain-kirk-battles/

 

 

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